A Day for Venting

Let me tell you what's difficult about being a single mother: almost everything.

Everyone keeps reminding me that I have all the answers. I can only rely on myself. Even a song by Keyshia Cole reminds me. "Look in the mirror," the R&B artist sings her heart out, "who do you see?" And it's true. All of it.

These are the days I need to come to this blog and vent. It seems though once things start to look bright for me, or once I begin to take in that one moment when things feel a little bit OK, it all disappears, without any warning.

I promised in this blog that I would convey honesty.

Honestly, today I just feel tired!

When you are a single mom, with no immediate help, you can't take a break.

I still have a million things to do and the babies still have to eat.

One of my goals is to be a good mother. At all times! How can I accomplish such a goal, especially when I know how difficult single motherhood can be?

* * *

Read Christie Cooke's "Introducing a Blog for Native Moms"

Christie Cooke, Navajo, has a master of fine arts degree in creative writing from the University of Arizona. She is a graduate of the Freedom Forum's 2007 American Indian Journalism Institute.

To send Christie Cooke a message please click here

I thought i was the only one who felt this way

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 2008-02-26 13:53.

I thought i was the only native mom who felt that way. I'm almost 20 and i have a three year old daughter. i have to juggle being a mom and going to school. i dropped out of school when i was sixteen and wanted to go back to school so i did. now i feel as if i can handle things better nom that i know i'm not the only one tired and being a single mom

I remember having that tired

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 2008-02-15 19:02.

I remember having that tired feeling. It takes a very special mother to go through life struggling and at the same time able to keep harmony in their lives. Stay strong and proud mothers, ladies and fathers as well. Our babies are carrying scared roots that will continue our Native American heritage. Great blog.

:0)

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 2008-02-15 10:56.

Hi again Chris,

I believe this is your way out, of letting all the frustrations of taking care of Ems and Edward all alone and not having the "man: there to help. Not everyone needs that "man" there, yes, it may seem easier when they are, but really, it's even more frustrating because there are two people who have their own minds and sometimes it will clash and lead to disagreement. Well, I just want you to keep up what you are doing, you are doing a tremendous job. I'm happy to be reading this and I'm glad you chose to write about "single motherhood", it will definitely help others and let others know they are NOT the only ones. Can't wait to read more. :0)

Love you lots!!

Mahin :0)

you'll be alright.

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 2008-02-15 10:56.

It's hard to be all bummed about being a single mom b/c of what anonymous posted. I look at my sister and she's got her man there, but she still does everything anyways. It's kind of like...even people in relationships have their own problems. Everyone has their own set of problems to deal with and it's all about our choice in how we deal with those problems. We can choose to vent on a blog (it helps), we can take up some kind of hobby (kung fu so then we can kick baby daddy's a$$), we can hang out with friends & family who will listen to our vents (and let us cry on their shoulder), or we can give up hope (and say dreams are for suckers!). Either way, the experiences we live through and have a good attitude about defines who we are and who we will become. I'm looking forward to raising my sons by myself with the help of my family and yeah, it is sad that these boys will not know their dad, but...my family is great and so am I. I know I can do this. What I choose to do with this awesome gift of twin boys is the best I can b/c we are only given experiences in this life that we can handle. You seem like a very smart and strong woman who will do a lot of good things for your life and your children's. The difficult parts of being a single mother balance out b/c this whole world seeks to find a balance...it won't always be difficult. remember that and you'll be alright!

Bravo

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 2008-02-15 08:48.

I am a single Native mother too and I know how you feel when "you can't take a break." Reading this blog let's me know that I am not alone and I look forward to reading your future postings.

Known the feeling

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 2008-02-14 16:45.

Christi.
I have known the feeling.....but in the future when you look back at what you have accomplished with your little ones.....it will all seem so small.....keep pushing forward!
AP

I know how you feel

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 2008-02-14 15:09.

I am a single mom and sometimes feel overwhelmed. I read an online article a few days ago that made me feel better. The story was told by a single mom and her conversation with a married mom. The married mom was upset about her husband not taking care of a few things when she was gone. I guess they agreed upon or wrote down these things before she left. Well, they weren't done when she got home and was upset because her expectations were ignored and she was hurt and disappointed. The single mom told the married mom this is why I enjoy being single because I have no expectations of someone taking care of things as home, it's all there waiting for me! The point being...a single-mom doesn't have any expectations of anyone since she does it all! Even if it's overwhelming. Do you get what I'm trying to say? Yes, I admit there are times when I wish I had someone to help me, but overall I'm glad and better for being strong for my daughter and myself. Maybe some day I will meet a nice man who will change my mind, and maybe not. All I know is compared to the relationship I had with my girl's dad. Being a single-mother is way better.

Kudos

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 2008-02-14 14:19.

Christie,

The blog is so cool. Makes me very proud of you. And, it also makes me teary eyed when you mention Emma and Edward, love it. Hugs and kisses to the babies on this Valentine's Day!

Reznet

Blogs » Mothers