Reznet News

Reporting from Native America

May 24, 2016
Latest post: March 20 5:07 pm

The key to Rez Romance is not found in chocolate

By Santee Ross, University of Montana

It’s Valentine’s Day, or as those of us less fortunate like to call it, Singles Awareness Day. It comes every year and every year I prepare by avoiding restaurants and quietly judging couples mackin’ it up on every corner.

Being a woman, I can’t help but wish I were a part of one of those sappy couples. They get to live it up on valentines’ day with chocolates, flowers, a nice dinner and some good ol’ fashioned lovin’.

Those classic valentine’s gifts are what make the day to many women. Although if I were in a couple, I know the traditional Valentine’s items would be substituted for the Indian version. So here is a list of those substitutes, Indian couples, on this lovey dovey holiday.

3. Instead of chocolates get sweet frybread

Oh yeah! Who needs expensive chocolates when you can get that perfectly golden frybread topped with honey and powdered sugar? Besides, in a box of chocolates you only eat the good ones, so I’m sorry to say but Forrest Gump is wrong. Life is not like a box of chocolates, it’s like a frybread lathered in honey and covered in powdered sugar.

2. Instead of flowers, sing a round dance song

Screw flowers, those things die in a matter of hours anyway. Give me a man who can sing to me with that smooth voice that only Native men have. The most romantic gesture and a sure way to gain the key to an Indian woman’s heart, sing her a round dance song.

1. Instead of a nice dinner, go to a basketball game

Fancy three-course meals? Can you say boring? If I’m going on a date this close to March Madness, we better be courtside with foam fingers and everything. The equivalent to candlelight and violins, are the harsh gymnasium lights with that air horn someone always seems to have.

Now that you got your Indian valentine’s gift ideas, let the wooing begin.

Santee Ross (Hopi/Lakota) is from Lander, Wyo.