Dear Crabby,

About two weeks ago I stayed at a friend's house to watch it while he was out of town. When he came back, he found some large bloomers in the bathroom hamper.

He swears he doesn't know where they came from. He doesn't have any girlfriends anymore, and the last one wasn't that big.

Well, he started to eyeball me kind of suspicious-like, and I had a queasy feeling in my belly. The thing is, I like women's underwear and when he first asked me about them, I realized they could be mine.

Well, they are mine! I like nice silky bloomers, and I wear them daily. I don't know how I could have forgotten them at his house.

Once in a while he brings up the subject and wonders where they came from. Oh, I'm a big guy, too. Help.

— Sonny

Dear Sonny,

It's better left unsaid. Pass it off as if it never happened. And in the meantime, look for a shrink.

— Crabby

One time an old chief called on the weatherman to see how the weather was going to be, and he was told that it was going to be a cold winter. The man went back to his tribe and told them to put up lots of firewood.

To make sure of the coming cold weather, the man went back to the weatherman and asked him again about the coming winter, and he assured him that it was indeed going to be very cold. The second time, the chief urged his people to put up even more firewood.

The third time he went, he was told that the winter was going to be a severe and bitter winter. He went back to his tribe and encouraged them to pile their wood even higher.

One day, a white guy called the weatherman and asked about the coming winter, and he was assured that the winter was going to be bad. He asked the weatherman how he knew and the weatherman replied. "The Indians are putting up wood like crazy!"