By Cynthia Lee

I had seen a show called Turning Point about a British model by the name of Katie Piper who was severely injured by an attacker that threw sulfuric acid at her face. It was orchestrated by her ex-boyfriend. After going through a tough year and a half of skin therapy she was finally able to leave her home. She found that she was able to fill an empty void that she didn’t know she had until she went through her ordeal. She said “...before my attack, my life was more self-obsessed.” Seeing this got me thinking that, although some of our experiences are not to that extent we are able to fill empty voids that maybe we weren’t aware of at that time, with a new found faith, strength, family and such.

There is an incredible amount of courage that it takes for a person to tell the ones closest to them that they are gay or even bisexual. Negative outcomes are going to cross a person’s mind, even after they’ve built up the courage to utter those words because there are still many factors that some worry about.

I’ve had countless conversations with my family and my girlfriend about the fears that I have. The one thing which is constant in my mind is how my sexuality will affect my future children. Both movies and documentaries that capture same-sex parented families come to mind, because I don’t know any gay parented families personally. Usually the spectrum ranges from children who either resent or are embarrassed by their parents to children who are proud of where they come from. I think, “Will my children ever have to fear being bullied for who their parents are?”

Then there is also the fear of myself or my partner being injured because of who we are behind closed doors. We don’t often think about hate crimes because they seem uncommon these days. But growing up moving from town to town I’ve become more aware of my surroundings and know that bad things do happen to good people and at some point we come across the experience of racism. The reservations seem to be more accepting and if there isn’t acceptance they choose to ignore it. Either way there is less judgment placed on those kids that are homosexuals because those towns are so small that everyone knows everyone. There are always going to be people talking about the latest gossip no matter where a person lives, but on reservations people don’t go out of their way to ‘call out’ another person on who does what because they know that isn’t their place. The reservation in comparison to other places seems more ‘safe.’ I heard about a hate crime incident that occurred in May, on a Native American family in Neveda. Skin heads attacked this family for no reason. Not to say that crimes happen on the rez but this is a different level of hate deprived from one race to another. As a minority we know there is a certain type of unity among us that can’t be broken.

Every person gay or not, has these fears of their kids not ‘liking’ them, or their kids being bullied, or themselves being mistreated by the public but we can’t live in constant fear of those things. If those things are holding a person back from living the life they deserve to live, which is free being who they truly are and not hiding.

Change is happening all over the country. States are slowly legalizing same-sex marriage. The Suquamish tribe in Washington state recently voted to legalize same-sex marriage on the reservation. These are huge steps for gay rights. As I mentioned in my previous blog, there are traditional beliefs that gay people do have a place in the culture. People are becoming more accepting of the lifestyles of others. Society is realizing that what a person does behind closed doors is their own business. They are also recognizing gay people as their neighbors. Like Katie Piper hiding out in our own comfort zones, we come to realize that, that isn’t “living.” Dealing with any situation in our everyday lives we should be able to find courage/faith/any type of light in our darkest moments. By holding ourselves back we are giving those people a say without them having to do anything.

Cynthia Lee, Navajo, is a student at the University of New Mexico-Gallup.